:)

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Rainbow after the Rains and Rains after Rainbow!

About a month ago, one parent sent me a forward email of "Rick Warren Sermon of the Day". It has many insightful sentences but ones who struck me the most was this;

"I used to think that life was hills and valleys - you go through the darktime then you go to the mountaintop. Back and forth. I don't believe that anymore. Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe it's kind of a like two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life'

Post reading that statements, I took time to contemplate. To find out whether he was right. He was! It doesn't necessarily means that good and bad go together as if you can't be completely happy becausesomething bad must have happened as well it as simple as things work fairly.

The bad thing was, his statement dread me of what life brings. I became happy-paranoid. I thought oh gracious! something bad must have happened to me. On the bright side, I never become completely sad because I believe that good things will happen as well!

Then I studied more on this and concluded on one thing.

"Rainbow after rains and on the other side rains after rainbow" and since it applies like the law of gravity the only thing that you can do is "TO ENJOY EVERY SEASON"

be it the darkest storm or the brightest sunshine :)

Some of you especially my faithful readers must have known that I've forever wanted to experience study in America. I've got reasons but let's keep it for now. Applying and sending applications had been part of my routine. My latest application was for the AMINEF committee. It was Fulbright scholarship which I took "Fulbright Language Teaching Assistant Scholarship". It was my most prepared application by far. My most awaited as well because I thought I might have more chance in this. I waited and waited. A lot have I sacrificed. Including my one-month holiday in Perth cuz I was afraid I would blow the chance of I didn't show up for the interview just because I wasn't there.

Two days ago, with such hope I called the office. Well well well, didn't get it. My name wasn't on the interview list. Hang up the phone, ran to my room and cried. Thanks to my growing in understanding of how God works, I didn't cry like a child. I only cried for several minutes and that's it. I mean, if you don't get it yet..It's not your time yet. Plus, I remember about what Rick said "something good and something bad".

Alright, it may seem bad but it won't last long. Something good must happen!!

1 day after that not-so-enjoyable-news, a promising project which seemed to be dead for 6 months (because there was no continuation after our 2nd meeting) shows its flourishment. I got a call from this person and everything was just worked so smoothly. This morning I had a meeting with the Head and next week I will sit for Rapat Besar Kerja Tahunan and I was the youngest of all!

This actually is a social project which if sucessful will create BUZZ all over Jakarta. Sorry, can't tell you yet what it is :)

During the meeting with this old respectable man, I somehow eyes and ears blind on 'what it is'.
Apa sih bahasanya "tehnikal, pendekatan metodologis, and istilah2 surga lainnya yang asli gue buta banget. Tapi satu hal, gue tetep mencoba tersenyum dan membiarkan semua stress itu cukup bergejolak dalam hati gue. Satu hal yang bikin gue yakin adalah selama 24 tahun gue hidup, banyak banyak banget kasus dimana gue itu seperti selalu dicelupkan dalam situasi yang 'apa sih nih gue gak ngerti' tapi gue selalu keluar sebagai pemenang alias 'bisa koq, semua pasti bisa'.

So, to fill this somehow empty,clueless brain, I rightaway gathering sources like LOTS and LOTS of them from many fields and read them respectively. Gue bacain deh tuh satu2, mencoba memahami setiap bidang. So today, I spent like 3,5 hours memahami hal yang akan gue tekuni ini.

Di tengah kesibukan mempersiapkan otak supaya gak malu2in orang yang udah ngangkat gue, undangan ini itu, kesibukan2 lain yang sampai terabaikan, tiba2 nyokap masuk kamar, Maria, besok kita meeting sama ini (gue juga ada project untuk build an exciting Math course)..wkwkwk, can you believe?? matematika..the least of thing that will create interest to my life..

Itulah hidup!

Dengan kesibukan yang luarrrr biasaaa,, gue merasa bahagia..Sangat bahagia. Kenapa gue seneng kalo sibuk. Karena kalo kita sibuk dengan hal2 yang positif, kita gak akan punya waktu untuk hal2 yang gak negatif atau kurang bermakna.

Termasuk mikirin "aduh abis ini hal buruk apa yah yg akan menimpa gue"..ehehe

enjoying every seasons and at the same time preparing for the next season :)

cheers for life's season!

Manneke Budiman

Lu semua pasti punya donk dosen2 yg mnrt lu aseekk berat (beh, asekkk..hahaha)!

Manneke Budiman adalah salah satu dosen asik berat tersebut. Dia dosen gue di UI dulu. Duh, kalo inget2 UI inget2 lagi masa kuliah gue ama dosen2 yang super gila, which in my faculty, most lecturers were so fun and just dead fun!, Udah gtu baik lagi, kaya skrg dah ada fb gini nih, mereka malah tawarin kita jadwal sama apa gtu lewat status, mrk lagi ygn kirimin ke kita..

Mereka gokil tp pd berotak encer, saking encernya mereka2 diperebutkan negara2 maju nun jauh di sana. Manneke Budiman adalah salah satunya, dia sekarang lagi belajar di UBC (University of British Columbia) di Canada. He is the most ridiculous, crazy fun married man i've ever known.

If he is on in FB, i usually clicked on his name and we chatted. Once we chatted, kayanya beban2 idup ilang sementara..He is like freakin' exuberant..alias LUCU BERAT!!

Contohnya hari ini, dia punya status 'I'm fine, don't worry about me prends. Tengkyu for yor concern. Oh huh, please send me your cheque, a.s.a.p. please'

I thought frm his status he was hospitalized or something, turned out, he was just being crazy because he was dead bored with his fellow colleagues status, mostly philosophy stuff he said. He added ' Saya suka punya kamu, istilahnya miskin bareng '. (Fyi, saat itu status gue, even though we got no money i love you honey)..

dan inilah kelanjutan kegilaan kita..

Maria/Gue : wkwkwkwkkwkw , i love you pak (how brave is that..:P)

u're the worst

hahahhahahaha

saya kira bapak masuk rs or something ..dah gitu fotonya kaya orang lagi bed rest

haahhaa

kaya lagi chemotherapy aja pak

Manneke/Dia :

I love you, too. (gelo kan?) You're also the worst, so we are two of a kind, created for each other. Wakakak!

Waduh! gara-gara botak dibilang kemo. Sadis you!

Gue :

hahahaha , aduh pak, kangennn,

saya lagi kangen merusak rumah tangga orang, hahahha

gimana pak, im good in wording right??

Dia :

Untung bisa ketemu di FB. Jadi bisa maen cilukba. Kamu boleh ngerusak rumah tangga saya asal gak ketauan sama Bu Mita (istrinya yang juga dulu dosen dan terpaksa pindah ikut dia), hihihi.

Ya, wording-mu superb! Bisa jadi senjata penghancur yang dahsyat kalo gak kuat iman.

Gue :

hahahhaa

SIPPPPPP, i love all the UI lecturers, their like fun and awesome

ehehhe, they were kan pak?

hahahha

Dia :

Makanya panjang umur dan awet muda, sekalipun rambut rontok.

Gue :

pasti bapak bacanya stress..'duh nih murid saya atau murid monyet saya' (krn gue bilang their padahal bkn kepunyaan)

kakkakakakakkaka

huhuahhaa

ia ia

so different compared to the Padjajaran lecturers..

Dia :

Nggak, nggak stress. Malah bangga. Tandanya berarti ngajarnya dulu sukses. Makanya muridnya sekarang bejad. Hahaha!

Gue :

hahahahahahahahaha

apaan kan diajar bapak cuma bentar lho pak

Dia :

Kalo dosen-dosen UNPAD kan targetnya mau masuk sorga semua. Kita sih milihnya neraka. Ada hard rock cafe-nya.

Gue :

hahahahahha

jangan gitu pak, drag me to hell cuma lucu di film doank pak

syerem ih

bapak sampe kapan sih di Canada ?

Dia :

Baru diajar bentar aja udah rusak parah, gimana kalo lebih lama lagi? itu filemnya salah judul, Maria. Mestinya yang betul: Drag Me to Heaven.

Saya balik desember tahun depan.

Gue :

saya kan diajakin orang nonton itu terus saya bilang oke, terus setiap cerita ke orang

bilangnya drag me to heaven,

sapa yang mau ke hell?

eheheh

hell is ain't funny dude!

Dia :

Pasti yang ngajak laki ya?

Gue :

wkwkw

ia pak

Dia :

ketauan maksudnya. Biar kamu jerit-jerit ketakutan, jadi spontan akan langsung meluk dia. Jadinya dia bisa ngelaba. Itu taktiklama, hehehe. Tapi saya curiga jangan-jangan kamu malah memang pura-pura ketakutan supaya bisa menggerayangi itu cowok. Hayo ngaku!

Kalo cuma jawab sepatah dua kata, jangan-jangan itu bukan cowok tapi gendruwo. (pas gue lagi tanya how to make friends with man yang kalo jawab cuma sepatah dua patah)

Gue :

hahahahahahhaha..pak

i'm so gonna post it in my fb!

you're LIKE AWSOME, hehe

duh gue kaya superhyper american teenager?!

Dia :

Hehehe, you uderestimate yourself. kamu lebih hyper daripada american teenager

Sekarang saya mau ciao dulu. Sudah hampir jam 12 siang jadi mesti belanja buat maem siang, sudah itu ngampus. sayang di sini kaga ada mie ayam.

Take care Maria. nanti kita chat lagi yang jorok-jorok. (gokil kan, pdhl jorok disini bukan porno, maksudna gila)

Gue :

hahhaa

ia pak

thanks ya pak

etc, etc..


Masih banyak dosen2 ui gue lain yang juga gokil begini,

Duh, i miss the old times..:(

Transcribing Does Frustrating..

Just when I thought I was gonna have this enjoyable, pleasant evening, suddenly my dad came and gave me some videos.

He smiled and said 'right Maria, now you please transcribing'. (to make a written copy of what is being said..gitulah terjemahan gampangnya)

I was gonna show this sour bete faces saying..'aduh dad, orang mau seneng2 juga'..

Engga jadi, karena..

Gak tega bo..hehehe (masak orang lain ditolong babe sendiri gak ditolong)..ehhee

So i finished my dinner, brought the videos to my room, and well, procrastinated a little..(as always :P) and put in the video..

It was very difficult. The person spoke in some languages, murmuring some of the times, to top it off, spoke with javanese accent alias pake aksen jawa..

Ampun deh, one of the funniest was when he pronounced religion as if religion is an Indonesian language. So he literally read it as re-li-gi-on bukannya (istilah dodolnya relijien)..

Capek gak..

Kemudian ganti ke pembicara yang agak2 waras yang kemudian bikin saya merasa lebih bahagia sedikit.

Ternyata..(lebai)

Kebahagiaan itu hanya berlangsung beberapa menit saja..Setelah bapak2 berbahasa inggris+indo dengan aksen jawa dan MC yang bahasanya campur2 semua deh ada disini, giliran anak2 SMA yang ngomongnya aga2 ngikutin Cinta Laura..bedanya Cinta Lauranya inggrisnya okeh, ini, dialeknya super aneh, pokoknya yang penting gaya2 teenager hollywood tapi gak ada bener2nya..

Belum lagi dengerin anak2 SMA yang ngomong rebutan + transcribe the 'debat' part..where mereka potong2 satu sama lain dengan bahasa yang CAMPyur campyur..

Seandainya orang ini bayar lebih mahal, udah gue kasih orang deh nih kerjaan!

Kids Say the Darndest Things

1. 'Ms. u liburan kemana', i ke bangkok ? S on facebook chat

2. 'Ms maria, ms. maria gajinya berapa ? K during our fun day

3. 'Ms. hari ini i birthday lho'? S on facebook chat

4. 'Ms. maria, you're my most bestest favorite teacher in the whole WILD world.' C on her letter
begging me to stay teaching.

5. 'Ms, tas ini asli apa palsu?, F when she saw my LV bag'

6. 'Ms. maria, we have a surprise for you'' told some students before the actual surprise.'

7. 'Ms. Maria, i hope you will marry a prince and live in a castle. S on her note with the pictures of a man a and a castle.

8. 'Ms. thank you for teaching me,' J when i was to leave the class after the subject was over.

9. 'Ms. Maria, we will bake a cake for you on your birthday' shouted one of my students who seemed to j'adore Ms. Maria. Surprised for her revelation, her friends shouted. "B, why you told our secrets, with an upset voice. Then, S, who had forever known to be so plain innocent, never knew whats going on in her surroundings, adding the dissapointment to the class by screaming, 'Yeah, and I have something for you'. The class went, 'S' it's not a surprise anymore!'. And I said 'Okay Class, stop telling me anything, and S just don't say anything.'

' S defended herself by saying 'but I didn't tell you what's the gift!!! '

10. 'Class how was your holiday' ? I asked
E replied ' I had a holiday but my mom said don't tell or say anything if Ms. Maria asked about your holiday.
Some said, "E, you went to Hongkong', some others 'E went to Hongkong Ms.!!'
E, pretended to be sad, 'Class, quiet, Mom said 'don't tell!!'

11. In one class setting when I just came in, before I said a word, The class in unison shouted ' Ms. Maria, G is gonna move to America, she's not gonna be here anymore'.
G, 'guys, it is supposed to be secret'..'secret'

12. 'Ms. Maria, so we all gonna die', J when I told the class about global warming.

13. 'Ms. Maria, you are a genius! 'students went I just spoke some greetings in different language.

14. 'Tapi mama jarang beli apel' R when I said, okay you must change your challenge, what if your mom only buy you apples everyday.

etc etc.


Don't You Love Kids???

another lesson learned

Though ironic with my naturally ultra self-centered behavior, I'm actually a people-pleaser perfectionist. I've always wanted to complicate and complex things up out of simplicity just to make sure that everyone would totally be pleased and satisfied.

Some from many many evidences to support my chronic behavior are :

1. When someone having a birthday and there is an implicit requirement of bringing gifts, even tho we weren't that close or not even close at all, I would wholeheartedly find the perfect gifts. I'd call his/her friends, asking a-z questions..Had a clue, left my house, spent 4 hours, had some thought about my choice yet went home empty handed and woke up the next day, went to another place and returned again empty handed. At last, went back to the first place, and made my decision.

2. During mother's day, I spent hours on the internet to find what would be the best
gifts/ideas to be given to mothers. This is not my mom I'm talking..This refers to 'these' (students' moms). I treat my students by giving away flowers to them so that they could give it to their mother. I can't be just like any other teachers who pick just the same one color to be easy or trouble-free. Especially when dealing with lower grades who shrieked 'I want this' most of the time. Put a stake on fate by choosing different colors had successfully put me in a deep deep predicament. Class turned chaotic. All students boys/girls came forward wanted to grab their choice. I lost my voice of screaming 'go back to your seat'. Students who wanted purple and white roses exceeding those who wanted red which sadly were the most color. I ended up apologizing many times to those who didn't get the color they wanted too. and i felt bad, accused myself as if im so unfair. i couldn't stand the sad faces of students who didn't get their choice.

3. On one birthday party involving a spa treament activity. I volunteer myself to find the perfect place to spa. While the birthday girl and friends busy chit-chatted and munched non stop, I sat at the back, researched for 2 hours on the internet. I came up with some places, prices, kinds of treatments they have, etc etc, fullest info which kinda useless..Cuz they pick this one place that is on the top of my lists. They didn't even care to bother to know the other picks/discoveries. Reasons; they've heard of that name, and they knew how to get there.

Ironic, again, I ain't no an organized person. In fact, I've known for my messy/ignorant-ness..Its just, I don't know. I love it so much when it comes to doing others free favor. However, I was somehow realized how much suffer i had put for myself. Lately i've been thinking and deciding on two things.

1. Make things simpler. Yes, I still have to put effort and all that. But I need to learn to not trying too hard.
2. Stop pleasing everybody. I've known this forever even the 'in pleasing everyone you pleasin no one' quote. That is so hard to apply cuz there was just something inside of me that craving for perfection. But i wanted to change. One year of being a teacher dealing with parents and students of complexity have given me enough lesson. That i've hurt myself in attempting to pleasing everybody.

Alright, time to change. IT IS tough. but for the better.

Wings of Forgiveness..

Satu tahun sudah saya menjadi guru. Banyak sekali suka dan duka yang saya alami. Sebenarnya kalau dibandingkan suka saya lebih banyak dari dukanya. Apalagi mengingat murid2 yang lucu2 dan mencintai saya..Tapi namanya manusia yah, lebih gampang mengingat hal negatif daripada hal positif.

Saya ingin sekali menutup tahun ajaran ini dengan tawa lebar dan bilang 'yeah', I did it' tapi koq malah yang diinget yang perlakuan2 kejam orang yah. Bagaimana tidak bisa ingat..'wong hampir setiap hari saya difitnah'..
Serius lho..1 tahun difitnah tiada henti..

Bisa bayangkan?

Tadinya saya mau menulis 'penghakiman/gosip/tuduhan/fitnahan' itu. Fitnahan atau penghakiman yang luar biasa gilanya. Pikir2 lagi, koq kesannya jadi mengingat2 kesalahan orang yah..Banyak hari dimana saya baru masuk kerja atau pulang kerja dibombardir terus..Kalau gak gara2 anugrah Tuhan dan dukungan dari berbagai pihak, saya either bisa confront mereka atau memilih berhenti atau jadi mati rasa..

Terus2 an dibeginikan, bukan berarti saya gak instropeksi diri. Saya bertanya 'Apa memang ada yang salah dari saya?' atau 'inikah tuaian saya untuk hal2 yang sudah saya lakukan' atau memang mereka hanyalah sekumpulan orang yang memang Tuhan ijinkan untuk berada dalam kehidupan saya untuk mendewasakan saya.'

Jawabannya ternyata nomor 3. Memang saya ini mau diangkat tinggi banget kali ya, jadi dikasihnya ujian yang juga level tinggi. Saya diingetin juga tentang Yusuf. Yusuf itu jauh lebih hebat dan lebih sempurna dan lebih segalanya dari saya sampe harus jadi babu dan masuk penjara sedemikian lamanya..Saya belum 1/100 nya Yusuf..

Kunci dari kemenangan Yusuf :

'PENGAMPUNAN'

Setuju gak..?Kalau kamu udah bener2 memaafkan seseorang, kamu pasti bisa menerima semua kekurangan dan kelebihan orang tersebut dan gak akan memberitahukan dunia tentang perbuatan orang tersebut dan justru akan tersenyum lebih lebar karena kamu bangga banget sama diri kamu..Bisa mengalahkan musuh terbesar dari dalam dirimu yaitu kamu sendiri.

Always remember 'Personal victory precedes public victory'

If Joseph can forgive his oppresors or prosecutors..surely I can :)